My daughter is a lesbian. And while she kids me about “turning” her gay (suggesting softball and giving her Black & Decker tool toys as a toddler), she is only joking. She didn’t turn gay. She didn’t make a choice about her attractions. Her sexuality is as much a part of her as her eye color or right-handedness. It’s inherent, and the strange notion that the sex to which we are attracted is something other than inherent boggles my mind. The idea that all of us were born with an attraction to the opposite sex, and some choose to deny that attraction and choose to be attracted to the same sex is ludicrous and self-serving. No one chooses their attraction. No one chooses their identity. I certainly didn’t. Did you?
My daughter is 16, and I’m thankful that she was raised in a household where homosexuality wasn’t shunned, but discussed openly and honestly. I’m glad that my wife and I chose early on to be open and honest with our daughter in an age appropriate way about a plethora of so-called sensitive topics like sex, sexuality, and religion to name a few. Our approach has fostered a relationship that has allowed my daughter to discuss ideas and views freely with us, come to her own conclusions, and simply be a well-rounded, well-spoken, confident individual.
That relationship and those discussions allowed my daughter to be who she is and not hide – to have no fear of repercussion or shame from her family for being different or having her own opinions. The closets are empty at my house, and I am grateful for it, but I am tired, exhausted really, by the ignorance and hate and ridiculousness that I see and hear daily on this subject – in the news, on social media, and even in person, and that’s why I’m writing this blog post.